A retired Vegas Showgirl walks into a bar…….

Archive for January 27, 2011

In My Spare Time, I Use My Power of Invisibility to Fight Crime…

“Miss, can you please tell us if the police officers at the next table are wearing wedding ring?”


“Officers, can I refill that iced tea for you?  Yes?  You’re welcome.”

“No wedding ring.”

“Can you get their p-number?”

“Can I what?”

“The badge number.  My father’s a cop.  Can you tell them we want to buy their meal in exchange for their badge numbers?  But don’t tell them who, we didn’t dress for this.”


“Gentlemen how was dinner?  Great.  Okay here’s the thing..the brewhouse is happily buying half of your meal to thank you, of course for your service.  A couple of admirers at another table would very much like to buy the other half of your meal.  They also want to thank you for your service and would also like your badge number if that is alright.  Female.  Admirers.  No, I can’t tell you who.  Personally, I think it would behoove you to do so, they’re cute.  I will absolutely let them know how much you appreciate the gesture.”

The officers left there p-numbers and a note of gratitude for the ladies and a nice tip for me.

The ladies left with smiles on their faces and p-numbers in hand.  They thanked me verbally and monetarily.

I left a little richer than I arrived and feeling like a bit of a superhero: food server by day, food server/matchmaker by night.

All in all, another good night at the brewhouse.