A retired Vegas Showgirl walks into a bar…….

When Art Imitates Life

There is a short scene in the movie “Julie/Julia” that takes place in a restaurant. The character of Julie Powell, played by Amy Adams meets three other friends for what she refers to as the ‘cobb salad lunch’.  The script reads as follows,

Waiter: “What can I get for you?”

Friend #1: “I will have a cobb salad, no bleu cheese.”

Friend #2: “Cobb salad, no beets.”

Friend #3: “Cobb salad, no bacon.”

Friend #4: “Cobb salad, no egg.”

 That is a scripted movie. I waited on a table of 8 the other night. Five of them ordered the same thing. It went something like this.

Person #1: I’ll have the club sandwich, no avocado, no bacon, no tomato and I don’t want that garlic mayonnaise, I want regular mayo on the side. I want my fries with no seasoning and make sure the’re well done.

Person#2: I want the club sandwich, no avocado, and I don’t want that sourdough. Do you have wheat bread, give me the wheat bread.

Person #3: I want the club sandwich, no avocado, no mayo. I’ll have ranch on the side. I don’t want fries, I’ll have a baked potato.

Person #4″: I want the club sandwich, no avocado, no bread. Well done fries, no salt.

Person #5: I want the club sandwich, no avocado, what kind of cheese do you have? Do you have American? Why not? Fine, cheddar.

It’s moments like this I really miss a career in showbiz.

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