A retired Vegas Showgirl walks into a bar…….

Archive for December, 2010

Farewell 2010

I thank you for many things, but I am also happy to see you make your timely exit.  You were slightly better than 2009,  which was slightly better than 2008. 
I’m going nowhere but up.
I am ready to receive you, 2011.  I am reminded that you are not only another fresh year but another fresh decade. 
Where was I ten years ago? 
Where can I make myself be 10 years from now?
How I love that word.  

Cleaning House

My internet reception has been patchy-at-best since Monday (I was lucky my Betty White entry made it into cyberspace at all).  So while waiting for the world wide web air waves to unknot, I’ve been prepping for the new year; by cleaning.
Dusting and vacuuming were yesterday, kitchen stove and refrigerator were on today’s list, tomorrow I need to finish the bathrooms and spot steam clean the carpets, then I can greet 2011 with a clear conscience and even clearer glass surfaces.
I will be working New Year’s Eve at the brewhouse, though I’m sure I will be clocked out and long gone before the clock strikes midnight.  I will find a quick glass of champagne somewhere.  Then I need to turn around quickly to open the restaurant on New Year’s Day.  No big Las Vegas style parties for me this year, I’ve had my share in the past.  I’m looking forward to a quiet evening.  My morning routine however, will be one a bit more structured.
Years ago I came across this article in the “Las Vegas Weekly” and I kept it.  For many years it was taped to my refrigerator.  Every year I turn to my yellowed, tattered copy to follow the same New Year’s Day ritual.  It is, as author “Mystic Mona’ says, “A harmless way to create the best energy possible where you live.”
I’m not saying it helps, but it doesn’t hurt, and it is nice to start the year with a clean house and something as simple as fresh ice cubes.
Adapted from “Revving Up the New Year”: first published by The Las Vegas Weekly, 2003
Purchase some dried sage or cedar burning stick. Some sandalwood incense or mini-charcoal burning disks (seen at Whole Foods or a health food store) would work just as well. When you awaken on New Year’s Day, take a salt bath; one cup of salt (epsom or sea salt) in a tub of water. Feel free to enjoy your morning cup of coffee while soaking, I do. After five minutes of immersion, lather up and finish your normal grooming routine. Dry off with a freshly laundered towel and put on freshly laundered clothes.

 Light the sage stick or cedar or charcoal disks according to directions and wait until it begins to smoke. Begin at the front door. Make a counterclockwise circle around the perimeter with the smoking sage/cedar. Then going to the left (counterclockwise) walk the entire perimeter of the house. (If the house is two stories or more, begin at the front door and then go up and circle each next floor counterclockwise. If there is a floor above and below, do the main level first then the next level up, then below).

 This counterclockwise circle releases negative energy.

 Once back at the front door, still keeping the sage and cedar smoking, make a clockwise circle of the perimeter of the front door, then turn to the right (clockwise) and follow the perimeter of your home again. When you’re back at the front door, do one more clockwise circle at the door. The clockwise circle seals in positive energy.

 Then go to the kitchen and pour enough water on the smoking sage, incense etc, to make certain it isn’t a fire hazard before you throw it away.  Open every window in your house and turn on the fans.  That will clear out the smoke and bring fresh air into your house.

 While the house is airing out, go to the freezer and dump out all the ice into the sink.  We’ll even begin the New Year with new ice!

 Close all windows and turn off the fans.  Your house is now ready for a new beginning.  Have the following four items at the same meal before midnight. 

     Black-eyed peas: This is for luck in the New Year.

     Some sort of leafy vegetable: spinach, collards or even lettuce.  This is for money in the New Year.

     Meat from an animal that doesn’t scratch backwards (chickens and turkeys scratch backward).  Pork is a good choice.  This is so you don’t go hungry in the New Year.

     Something sweet: cookies, candy, cake or ice cream- so you can count on sweet surprises in the New Year.

To My East Coast Friends and Family

Betty White delivered this monolouge in an old episode of The Mary Tyler Moore show.  I thought it was appropriate.

“Snow always inspires such awe in me.  Just consider one single snowflake alone.

So delicate,

so fragile,

so etheral.

And yet, let a billion of them come together through the majestic force of nature,

they can screw up a whole city.”

Santa Reads My Blog!

I’ve been very good this year. 

The things I will  make with this will make me very, very good for next year!

Joyeux Noel!

Eat well, be merry! 


I love you my family and friends. 



and headbutt.

Precious Vegas Real Estate

Most bloggers I imagine, as they sit down to type their daily post, must go through a routine similar to my own.  I turn on the computer, pee, and then ease myself into my favorite arm chair with laptop in lap and beverage du jour at arm’s reach.  I however,  I must adhere to one more ritual before I can click away at the keyboard.
My nightly blogging has become a standard bedtime drill and I’m not the only one to realize that.  Every night as I settle in to write, I must compete with the furry creature that has just realized I have created something far more valuable than a humble computer site or a good story.  My sitting down to blog creates the forever prized and celebrated lap.  And my laptop loses the battle of precious real estate every time.
The cat is the main reason I am certain to evacuate my bladder prior to sitting.  Kneading is a big part of the lap acquisition and 10 pounds of cat can create a lot of unnecessary pressure.  The kneading is then followed by the purring, the headbutting, the nuzzling, all which precede of course, the circling, the settling, the last minute bathing and the heavy eyelids.  When his eyes finally do shut, I am able to reposition my laptop, somewhere balanced on an arm chair arm, or positioned across both knees and only then am I able to enjoy the task that initiated my sitting in the first place. 
Our ritual can take as long as 10 minutes and that is the main reason I bring a drink.  Sipping gives me something to do while furry beast is doing his thing.  At first he was distracting, now it gives me time to brainstorm.  It works out well for both parties.
His insistence of delaying my writing is his way of saying I love you and me agreeing to it is my way of saying I love you back.  I’ve got a pretty good life.  


I have written today.  My words might become tomorrow’s posts or future posts, but nothing  felt solid enough to commit to a Thursday blog post.  

I feel a bit stressed.  In uncertain times I turn to my blog to relieve that stress, but not today.  My words are emotional and thus, simultaneously necessary and unnecessary.

So, I will save my words to ‘draft’ and try again later.

Only one thing is for certain: after Wednesday’s post, I have spent the entire day humming Tchaiksovsky.